Will it be death? Divorce? Misunderstanding? Natural cataclysms? Financial disaster? Health calamity? Merely the trickle of a slow-moving life current? Or, will it be quick and decisive, unforeseen and blindsiding?
Regardless of how life progresses, change comes… for each of us.
Indeed, “change” is regarded as the only certainty of life.
Life takes detours small and great. Like a drop of water beginning at the pinnacle of a mountain, a downhill ride is pretty much all that is certain. Movement brings change and change is a propelling force for all of life. Growth is only possible through change. Even while “being still” and KNOWING Who one IS, the world is still turning around us. To BE is to experience change. As the world shifts, we have opportunity to experience our self in ever changing circumstances. Thus, growth continues through change.
Stagnation is not life, but existence. Security strangle-holds experience. And, while we ARE that we Might Have JOY, without experimentation in a wide range of choices, that JOY and its companion WISDOM are not possible. Think about this. Are you ALIVE? Or holding on tight to relationships and the apparent security of a temporal reality? If so, you are existing, merely in survival mode. But change? Ah, change is potential energy awaiting growth and, possibly, emotional maturity.
Because of change:
I have lost friends. I have lost a seemingly stable family life to divorcing parents. I have lost a boyfriend to another woman. I have lost a husband to the ladder of worldly success. I have lost fetuses to miscarriage. I have lost a young child to death… in my own arms. I have further lost parents and siblings to judgment and alienation. I have lost membership in a church that I had given countless hours of service and love to after I had previously disengaged from it myself. I have relinquished physical custody of my children after witnessing the building trauma surrounding my divorce and receiving revelation that they would be irreparably lost if I did not. Then, I have lost some of their hearts. I have lost friends and acquaintances to beliefs in twisted tales about me because of their incomplete and faulty perspectives. I have lost a beloved partner to his unwillingness for honesty and union and emotional growth. I have lost abilities and opportunities. I have lost weight. I have lost possessions. I have lost reputation. I have lost my voice. I have lost health, teeth, eyesight, precious days of my life to seemingly frivolous demands. (Deep breath…!) 😊
I have gained so much! I am wealthy beyond preconception! I regret nothing in my life. I have discovered the treasury filled with its infinite array of jewels. I have accomplished what very few in all of history have yet accomplished! I have transformed a human heart (mine) into a heart of Gold, a heart that feels, and experiences DEEEEPLY. With each experience of loss, I have internally dug a bit more until my emotional reservoir has become a vessel so deep that innumerable levels and layers of resonance are mine to enjoy in delightful chorus. I have raised a daughter, through great tribulation, to also have a very sweet heart. I have discovered an intangible source of supply of validation, sustenance and worth… that never needs dusting, and does not tarnish, rot, nor decay. None of these would have been possible without the losses.
In June of 2009, *Source* announced to me that I would “win the lottery.” Smiling with wonder, I purchased a single ticket that very night, my first ever, playing along with the silly phrasing that I intuitively KNEW meant something far more significant. When half of my numbers matched up perfectly, I found it curious and purchased a second ticket the following day. No such luck that time. 😊
In the intervening nine years, inch by inch, grueling step by grueling step… grief and loss and change following grief and loss and change… I have walked forward. With a heart filled with gratitude and wonder, usually also with a smile on my face and in my heart, I have brought forth greater happiness and rejoicing after each seemingly failed experiment. Many projects I undertook, that seemed to take off with promising results, only backfired and left apparent messes in their wake. Through unprecedented experiences and interactions and choices, I have witnessed that, unbeknownst to most of the “others,” each of my relationships had allowed for the others’ growth as well. Although I marveled, I rejoiced to see how my life and our interactions HAD been a potentially powerful opportunity for them, too. Although sometimes “hated,” I knew that that “hate” was really love turned inside out, a love that they would never have been capable of if I had not poured it into them and given them an opportunity.
As I recently wrote, Krystal and I left my “Beloved” many, many times. (Yes, I will publish our story at some point.) Just as often (minus one) we would go back…. because a “Higher Power” told me I was not “finished there yet.” And, after all, I loved him… deeply. Always will. With this latest loss added to my long list, I also include an arrest and jailtime to my resume’. Threats of police investigation. Accusations of taking advantage and intents to rob. Greater animosity and judgment and malicious intrigue than ever before. All from people who “thought” they were “good,” religious, upstanding and “honorable men and women of this world,” who believed that they were “justified” in their actions and judgments. Repeatedly returning to my “Beloved,” I also lost some of my closest friends because my dogged determination appeared so radically insensible and futile and brought them no joy to witness.
Yet, I loved. Deeply. Purely. And because of my love, both this four-year “Partnership,” as well as my former twenty year “marriage” to an LDS attorney, allows hind-sight to show me that our “unions” were primarily my temporary service to help each of them learn to feel and heal and accept true, pure, love. Nearing the end of my long marriage, my former husband had opened up sufficiently so that during a tender moment of “I LOVE You!” he responded with unprecedented transparency: “I KNOW you love me! I KNOW God loves me! But that’s who you and God ARE! You Are Love! I just don’t feel worthy of being loved! I always feel even more miserable when you tell me you love me or I hear someone speak about how much God loves us! I just don’t have that kind of love within me!”
As I pondered upon his revelation, I realized that the greatest act of service one could give another is to help them find and accept Self Love. Led by a Higher Power far greater than my individual self, I did not completely “know” what I was doing. Never have. Yet, while operating in Trust Mode, I never had to “guess” in my interactions. Because of that, I can now look back and reflect upon my experiences with each love that I have had… with no regrets. I gave and gave and wrung out my heart in soggy sweet love, time after time after time.
Gratefully, as I lived, and loved, and experienced, I also reflected and pondered, learned and applied greater understanding as I continued forth. Yet, I chose to NOT judge others’ judgments of me. Seeing from their eyes, I was aware that my course was NOT their course! Thus, my guided choices made no sense and even appeared as “insanity” from their vantage point. As “another friend bit the dust,” yes, I felt sadness and loss. But, with that added loss, I continued to apply the only eternal balm in all of existence which works every time, in every dilemma, for each and every one: Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.
Matthew 5-7 in the Christian Bible, as well as 3rd Nephi 12-14 in the Book of Mormon, otherwise known as the “Sermon on the Mount,” chronicles the literal “Stairway to Heaven.” I have written much regarding it. Today I will write more.
While many in today’s society are still attempting to scale the alternative “ladder of success” as put forth by those in seemingly powerful and honorable positions, inevitably, each arrive at “the top,” or at “the other side” or at some point on THIS “side,” and discover: “woops! That was such a waste!”
I, myself, had my own personal “Woops! What a waste!” experience. For me, it was an early morning vision in March of 2004. I looked out a large window within a spacious school building and saw a mushrooming cloud of gray and red. Instinctively, I knew. This is it! It’s over! I called to the unseen school children to go home to their parents. Then, I turned around and began to organize children’s clothes and things from a nearby set of cupboards, while engulfed in my memories and physical sensations. Entering the room was my former husband, filled with vindictive spite. As I cast him out with authority, I then sensed that I was not alone. To my right was an exalted being. At this recognition, I also realized that I had erred; greatly. Requesting, “Please, can I do that again?” the dream began anew. There was the great red mushrooming cloud out the window. Again, I was filled with awareness that “life as we had known it was over.” This time, however, I somehow KNEW not to send the children home “to their parents,” but to call them unto me. I did. Then, sitting cross-legged upon the floor, I began singing. Songs of Zion, of peace, of hope, of love and joy came from a few trembling yet trusting voices that joined with mine. Two, then three, then more and more and ever-widening and deepening circles of more children enlarged our group. Then the parents joined as well. Peace and confidence increased. Then… I awoke with the feeling, “Yes. This time I had chosen right. This was what I had come to earth for!” And I opened my eyes; happy.
In L.O.V.E. Part 1, I posted the “Round Dance of the Cross” and attempted to teach that the GRACE which Jesus personified within that prose was curriculum’s step Beyond Truth. As a teacher playfully leads her flock in “Ring Around the Rosies,” Jesus gave physical representation of LOVE through this dance and its course in this earthly realm while giving this physical enactment of mortal life. Indeed, love HURTS, bringing pain and despair, anguish and loss as it does. Yet love also brings JOY and UNION beyond compare! Love’s curriculum leads us each, individually and collectively, through a labyrinth of experiences in opposites: hot and cold, light and dark, giving and receiving, being judged and judging; dashed expectations, intrigue, suspense, passions, and so much more.
Yet, what is love’s purpose? To what does it lead? HOW will we respond to love’s experiences? Is an accumulation of “stuff” deemed valuable by others the target? Is the grave really the goal?
While modern society has measured, weighed, quantified and contrasted “Intelligence Quotients” of individuals (I.Q.) and defined intelligence more or less as one’s ability and capacity to master bits of information and process that information speedily and flexibly in order to act in a useful manner, that definition has led to the current unrest and societal breakdown. Having a high I.Q. is often times an impediment to having Actual “Intelligence” as I will explain. Often it is those who speak with the loudest voice and know things that are hidden to others regarding this physical world and its laws, YET ARE WITHOUT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, that ensnare unwitting souls.
Please read this slowly: Love’s Curriculum is intended to prepare a social order where each maintains emotional peace and acts continually for the harmonious long-term welfare and happiness of all equally. In this quality of society, there is no poverty emotionally (“poor in spirit”) OR physically. All have the basic necessities of temporal life provided for, in other words, those “things” that are required for their physical existence is guaranteed, AND, their more important inner world is released from its emotional prison of enforced slavery to a stressful temporal life. This allows for an exploration of worthwhile work and creative opportunity while contributing to the good for ALL. Yes, without taking away a person’s free will, OR requiring force, L.O.V.E., appropriately lived, allows for liberty and the pursuit of happiness… eventually for ALL.
Regardless of what religions have taught, “mortal life” has not yet fully begun. These previous millennia have been mere preparatory states where the emotional life has had opportunity (through opposition) to mature. THIS is the largely unknown thesis of the Sermon on the Mount. Additionally, while Abraham Maslow’s “Self-Actualized” hierarchy shows characteristics of a highly developed emotional maturity, neither he nor any social scientist has ever studied a fully “Self-Real-ized” person. Nevertheless, the following chart contains propensities that, if studied and sought for would assist the masses of mankind into far more quality of life than has yet been experienced. Unknowingly, Maslow discovered and re-introduced in modern terms the “Stairway to Heaven,” a.k.a. Matthew 5-7’s “Sermon on the Mount.”
However, though Maslow (and many who have adhered to and followed him) organized a pyramid of one’s hierarchy of needs theory, one’s physical needs are NOT the most basic necessary foundation. Are you ready? One’s foundation, indeed the “rock” upon which one’s life must be based, is Trust; a sense that all is right in the world and that one’s appetites, desires and passions are appropriate and will be provided for AS one lives in harmony with one’s pure feelings and with all others. Yes, “upon this rock I will build my church.” Or better, one’s life can only be steady and strong with the basic foundation laid (primarily during that first year and a half) of TRUST in life itself. Indeed, in stark contrast to many purported theorists, one’s emotional need of being 1) accepted into one’s “group,” 2) appreciated as having something unique and necessary to the group, and 3) being valued purely for being alive is the pyramid’s foundation stone upon which all of life is built. Without this solid interpersonal emotional foundation, the rest of love’s curriculum is bound to cause one to shake and fall when the storms and winds of life beat upon an individual.
Again, and again… LOVE. IS. THE. ANSWER.
When life happens and change catches one blindsided, only when one’s life is built upon this foundation stone of feeling validated and worthy… JUST FOR EXISTING… and one’s unique contribution is valued and received, can one build a life and advance through the steps leading to a state of being known as “heaven.” It is THIS state that brings one back to the pinnacle of Self-Realization where one KNOWS one’s inherent value, can FIND one’s Real place, and lives appropriately with others as she assists all others to find THEIR inherent value and their unique place within a paradisiacal society.
Again, back to the “Sermon on the Mount” (http://loveistheanswer.info/the-fullness-of-the-gospel-of-christ-matthew-5-7-compare-to-3-nephi-12-14/ ) Matthew 5: 3-12 leads a person through any conceivable “jilt” within love’s curriculum and points them UPWARD. When in grief… come to me. If you mourn… come to me… If you cannot find the right (-eous) way to act or interact in any situation… come to me… If you are persecuted… come to me. ALWAYS the target is to “come to me.” And what does that phrase signify? NO, do not join a religion, buying your way with 10% of your money into a far off place (“heaven”). YES, seek to feel better by acting in a self-respecting way THAT ALSO benefits the long-term good of all others. Walk upward and onwards always with a sense of “THY Will” versus “MY Will” be done, and you will find yourself in heaven… “this day.”
Along with the great American Abolitionist of the 19th century, Harriet Tubman, I concur with all my heart: “We don’t just get free, we go back in and get others out.” Upon reaching the summit of one’s emotional mountain peak, there is only one direction: back down to free others. Even those clueless that they are enchained as emotional slaves to their “appetites, desires, and passions,” who are heading up the ladder that will NOT bring them lasting JOY, even those, as they are ready and willing, we desire to help UP.
Life is precious. Life is unpredictable. Life is deeply painful. Ultimately, each of us are going to suffer grief and loss. Yet it is memories, buried deeply within sometimes… of being “appreciated,” “accepted” and “valued just because”… those deep inner feelings of LOVE that allow one to “rejoice with exceeding gladness EVEN WHEN being persecuted for righteousness’ sake” (see Matthew 5:12) that give us strength to look UP and walk onwards toward that peak experience promised as “heaven.” As one lives with THIS degree of “love,” they realize and act as if they ARE “my brother’s keeper.” What affects another affects her. Therefore, seeking to help alleviate the “other’s” burdens becomes of central focus as we move together into a state of Zion, or “heaven on earth.”.
Stay tuned for L.O.V.E. (Level. Of. Vibratory. Excellence.) Part 4, as I share more specifics about vibration and just HOW to raise your vibration into the one achieved by “Jesus” and others who have “MASTERED” their emotions and, thus, reached the full measure of their EMOTIONAL creation.
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.