Falling in Love is caused by GRAVITY.
Feeling L.O.V.E. is caused by GRATITUDE.
Falling in love is subconscious self-justification. “I sense this emptiness, this hole, this lack within me. This ‘other’ fills that need, validates my sense of worthiness, contributes to my wholeness.” Falling in love is a neural drug for one lacking true Self-esteem. It is guaranteed eventual disappointment and failure based upon an illusion.
Feeling L.O.V.E., as I have written upon much over the past few months, stems from a place of wholeness. Self-validation based upon knowing one’s Self and being comfortable in one’s own skin and heart overflows from within one’s own being and showers forth upon others. Please deeply re-read and ponder, allowing each word and concept to sink deeply into your consciousness. I encourage you to also review my former post: http://loveistheanswer.info/l-o-v-e-part-6-calibrating-and-understanding-your-vibration-my-birthday-gift-to-you/
The past several years’ focus was brought to a head this past summer as I have interacted with two precious and amazing men and these experiences have assisted me to learn further about L.O.V.E. Each of these men have been drawn into my life through their respective journeys in spiritual maturity. Truly, “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” and its corollary, “when the teacher is ready, the student appears.”
I met Bob in 2005 and felt him to be a beautiful brother. In 2012, I got to know him better and my respect for him grew immensely. When I was told by the Powers that Guide me to “Quit” working for “mammon” which involved for me at that time being a care-giver for the elderly and handicapped, I sought earnestly what it was that I was “supposed” to be doing then. Soon after, Bob felt to call me and I shared the direction I had just received. Bob felt impressed to assist me in getting a trailer for my young daughter and I to live in which allowed for us to have even more opportunity to get to know each other. My friendship and respect for Bob continued to grow. I was forthright with him that our relationship was only platonic, and I implored him to rein in his “testosterone” or any signals he might erroneously interpret, and see me, instead, as a spiritual “sister.”
Throughout the years, as I have been directed upon an alternative path than the one I long-ago believed I would be walking throughout life, Bob has stepped up to the plate numerous times to assist me. Periodically, I would perceive his struggles to mentally abide by our agreed relationship boundaries. I would either emotionally pull back from him or directly converse with him to assist him to re-align his feelings and intentions with me. He has dealt with his feelings for me as few men would be willing or “man enough” who has “fallen in love” with a woman. I have tremendous respect for Bob and his goodness. There are few men on this earth who could do what Bob has done.
A few days ago Bob shared with me that his heart has been lifted. Although he still “cares about me deeply,” his “being in love with me” is now a thing of the past. We both felt tremendous relief! Although he obviously still cares for me, the aching longing he has endured over these years to have his “in loveness” reciprocated has been taken away.
This is what I just wrote in response to a question on Quora where a woman was wondering why a guy (HER guy) did not want to commit to her: https://www.quora.com/Why-would-a-guy-not-commit-if-he-loves-you-Is-he-building-himself-up-so-he-can-provide-for-things/answer/Kimberly-Davis-Wallis
“A guy does not commit to you quite frankly because he has “fallen in love” with you. And he knows it. Each man knows within the depths of their being that they exist to find a woman who will make him want to stretch and become a Real Man, an emotionally empowered advanced being. Often a man will acquiesce to marriage or commitment when they have found a “good enough” girl, but their settling is never for long, nor complete. Their attention or eyes will likely stray, taking their actions often with them.
Only a divine and empowered woman has the capacity to make a Real Man out of the material elements that identify as a “man.” An empowered, divine woman is one who has already raised her spirits sufficiently that it can be said she sits atop a spiritual mountaintop. Every man inherently desires not to “fall” in love but to be RAISED BY L.O.V.E. And true L.O.V.E. is correctly defined as the Level Of Vibratory EXCELLENCE. An “excellent” woman can do this for and with a willing man.
IF you want a guy to “commit” to you, then work on yourself until you have become worthy of being committed to. Become emotionally stable and mature. Become a strong woman. As a strong and integrous and virtuous woman, any man would want to “commit” to you and you would have a new dilemma. 🙂
In other words: BE *YOU* ti FULL!”
Only a woman who has a fairly good grasp upon her own emotions, who knows and understands her self fairly well has the wisdom to maneuver through the web of love correctly. Only as she quiets the outer chatter and listens deeply within her Self can she finalize her spiritual ascent. This journey requires every bit of courage and resolve she can muster. One’s emotional ascent requires tenacity times infinity. As I have written about in the past, a man must be assisted by a woman in order to complete his trek up to the summit of his spiritual mountain. Bob needed me to help him, but not in the way that his inner urges caused him to believe he needed me. As he has tenaciously read and applied my words, having me nearby to encourage, challenge and correct him, Bob has become more of a man than he could ever have previously believed possible. He is a “giant” in so many ways! I have profound respect for him and the challenges he has faced, particularly in this last leg of his journey.
Although Bob “fell in love” with me, the mortal “fallen” relationship of love was not that experience that I was guided was the appropriate one for which our Higher Selves had led us. Being a man, Bob was not able to figure this out. Being guided by Powers beyond either of us and as a woman… I could. I had worked too hard on my spiritual development to ever want to “fall” again. Being determined and listening attentively, I have maintained my capacity to see and understand while I have assisted him in his ascent.
Four and a half years ago, I met the other of these two men I just mentioned: David. I share a general overview of our relationship in this post: http://loveistheanswer.info/q-who-can-find-a-virtuous-woman-a-a-righteous-seeking-adam/
Although I had to figure out the intention of the Powers that Be and their reasons for bringing us together, I came to learn through personal experience and deep contemplation that, like Bob, I didn’t want David to be “in love with” me; I wanted him to L.O.V.E. me. Yet, I was to come to realize that my eternal relationship with David required a different path than that concerning Bob. Thus, my experiences have been very different in many ways than my relationship with Bob. In order to learn how to L.O.V.E. me, David has had to learn emotional mastery and Self-discovery. In order to L.O.V.E., one must perform heart -surgery upon him self, yet must be guided in this by one who sees clearly and understands the nature of his unique situation.
As I am writing this post, David just called and I rejoice to make the following known:
Within his 63 years of this life, and most especially his last 4 1/2 years with me, David has FINALLY (!) 🙂 learned the most important lesson of all eternity! This final lesson has been his greatest impediment.
Because of his high degree of (s)elf confidence, David had always balked or proven incapable of complying with my mentoring in essential ways. He had always “played the victim” whenever I had left him (and there have been numerous times) because of his anger and failure to maintain his commitment to his spiritual growth and his loyalty to our union, disallowing himself to be chastened and humbled at my correction. Intent on preserving his value from the other party, he had always presented his “truth” about the reason for my departure or treatment of him in a light that brought forth the compassion from the one he was talking with (particularly his adult children or his “friends”) in such a way as to twist their view of me to suspicion or contempt… or worse.
He had repeatedly resisted “losing his life in the service of his fellow man” because his Egoic (s)elf had known that would mean that his “natural man” (“Lucifer”) would be dethroned. This had felt like suicide, self-annihilation. He had often wondered what it would take for people to respect our union and particularly respect the messages and their wisdom that have been coming to and through me. David has been my greatest champion… in times when his “Lucifer” had not felt threatened. Or rather, he has been the greatest champion for Eternal Truth and remedying the fallen condition of humanity.
Yet, when speaking with another, he has been incapable of owning his anger, his knee-jerk responses to my calling him on his (sh_t) … ahem… disrespect and disloyalty. When he has shown unwillingness or inability to maintain his emotional state and I have then left him, he has descended into loneliness, despair, and frequently, suicidal tendencies. When others have seen him in his “lost and fallen state” and have rushed to his aid, they have unwittingly exacerbated the situation, validating the very emotional weaknesses that I had been attempting to help him eradicate. With several of them, we had even explained, to the degree that they could understand, what David and I were dealing with. Of course they could not understand a principle that has not yet (until now) been revealed to the world. But here it is:
Only by “losing one’s self” can one “find one’s SELF.”
“By love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17). “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:24).
In other words, by weakening one’s false self-confidence and strengthening one’s emotional maturity, one “loses his mortal life” while assisting all others to see the true Light of the mortal dilemma and, helping them, “saves” his own “eternal life.” Yes, it is only when one INTENTIONALLY pops the bubble of one’s ego and sincerely wishes the natural man to no longer rein on the throne of one’s life that one’s value and Self-respect can grow. As long as one’s mortal confidence waxes strong they will be spiritually weak and liable to emotionally topple and fall at the slightest threat to his value. This is why, as the one known as Jesus said, only the MEEK shall inherit the earth.
Here’s the Principle:
RAISE the Spirits and LOWER the natural man.
In other words, it is crucial to differentiate between genuine Self-esteem (“Raising the Spirits”) and the common “narcissistic mask” of arrogant fake self-assurance, the confidence of the “natural man.”
Few have learned (yet) how to accurately interpret and apply the Royal Law: “Love (the Lord thy God) Thy Self with all thy heart, might, mind and strength. AND Love thy neighbor AS thy Self.” This is the whole law and what every TRUE “prophet” has attempted to make plain. Yet, when one masters perfect love for them self and every “other,” they have raised their Level of Vibratory Excellence and truly esteemed them self in a stable, consistent manner. As Jesus teaches in the Sermon On the Mount (see the link to the right), the very highest vibration possible is “REJOICING with EXCEEDING Gladness” even when persecuted for righteousness’ sake. This is the spirit that will lift one from any and all mortal dilemmas. This attitude of gratitude is the emotion that will elevate each of us into the realms of True L.O.V.E. This L.O.V.E. allows us to overcome all obstacles, to have the tenacity to successfully complete any challenge life brings while correctly assisting all of mankind in their mortal dilemmas as well.
Like a hot air balloon being filled with helium, the lightest gas, one overcomes the inertia of gravity as one lifts one’s spirits through gratitude, the lightest attitude. Gratitude overcomes the grave through its buoyancy! Truly, “rejoicing with exceeding gladness” has the power to uplift the human spirit and elevate the entire mortal condition.
False (s)elf esteem which can been see as narcissistic arrogance is, instead, a façade. The person pretends (often even to them self) to be confident. Often they have above-average physical and/or mental abilities to win them “converts” to their view of them self as they perpetrate their false image. But, because their “spirits” or ability to be in control of their emotions is weak, the good feelings do not become internalized and they “fall” just as quickly, becoming filled with emptiness and quiet desperation, requiring another “fix” of being valued by others.
A genuinely emotionally strong individual sees them self as equal to any and all others yet with a desire to assist all others to this same perspective. This constitutes a MEEK person who is emotionally stable and not dependent on other’s validation of them.
When a person determinedly faces and achieves his life’s emotional challenges, he becomes strong, buoyant and literally overcomes spiritual gravity. Gone is the heavy heart that weighs one down with the feelings of despair. One feels light and “higher than a kite” while wishing to do good to all mankind. One has, literally, raised them self from their “lost and FALLEN state.” To have fallen spiritually is to enter into mortality. Mortality is hell, or a state of bad feeling. One in “hell” is, as Jesus said, “poor in spirit.”
But, “Blessed are they who mourn (or are depressed, jealous, angry, sad, or whatever their “bad feeling”) WHO COME UNTO ME.” Rather, when one momentarily experiences a set-back and their feelings droop… they can, with diligent tenacity, float right back up into a state of buoyancy by focusing upon GOOD Feeling and Service to others. By losing our self (our bad feeling) in the service of others, we find our Self (our good feeling).
Being “redeemed from the fall” is what everyone of us can… and must… do. First, the women. Women must go first in this mortal game of L.O.V.E. Then, a willing man who has prepared himself can find himself chosen by a virtuous woman who can assist him to become “raised from the dead” or lowly state in which he has found himself… to whatever state or quality of life they have previously ordained. This is the resurrection from the dead that the one known as “Jesus” taught and exemplified. This is a rising again, a return from the grave or sadness, gravity, solemnity of spirits.
So, to finish relaying the conversation from my recent phone call with David… He just had an impromptu conversation at the mailbox with our neighbor where he, David, informed him, Brigham, that the reason for our separation over the past few months was because he had not chosen to honor and respect me and our union in the ways that I had required and deserved. He acknowledged that I am “a very spiritual person” with “very high standards” that he didn’t always meet. (Although he did not acknowledge any specifics such as his ready anger, he has stated to me that he is capable about being forthright and transparent about his entire journey now.) David further explained to Brigham that he had felt the despair of my leaving him and had determined to live worthy of a true and united partnership with me. As David relayed this conversation to me he feel euphoric. He had succeeded in subduing his natural man with someone who in times past he would have sought value. He felt so good, in fact, that he saw continuing in this manner (of making his ego his servant instead of his master) becoming ever increasingly easier.
Truly, David is learning what few men have yet to learn, but that which is the very lesson for True Manhood.
Because David has accepted the principle of the self-filleting of one’s “natural-man,” it is My great honor to justify him and his herculean attempts. Oh, I glow with pride and rejoicing gratitude for his efforts in becoming a Real Man!
Likewise, Bob has overcome his personal challenge regarding his feelings for me and has learned throughout this summer how to take charge of his emotional vibration. Additionally, he has learned much regarding seeing others from a place of tender grace and lack of judgment.
World… here are two Real Men. I give you two precious examples of what True Success looks like.
In humility, I bow before the principles that have come through me and that I have with faith applied. Thank you, God!
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.