Each day is blessed with beauty and miracles, though sometimes those attributes have been offered in a “foreign language” and take some time to “translate correctly.” Such was the case Thursday. I experienced several divine encounters and precious conversations throughout the day which I immediately recognized and to which I silently and gratefully rejoiced.
Recording my day in my journal that evening, I ended my entry with “I feel Blessed!” This is a state of being to which I earnestly apply myself. Then, desiring completely integrous transparency, I parenthetically added: “(& disappointed…)” As I snuggled down into the cool but inviting bedsheets, I continued my silent “communion,” what others might term “prayer,” but for me is a complete and delicious “oneness.” Turning my inner search lamp onto its brightest beam, I looked honestly at my feelings, honoring and owning each one, seeking their hidden messages and the wisdom they offered. Without going into full detail within this post, in my childlike sharing, I petitioned to be shown a higher perspective, one that would allow my “disappointment” to be neutralized into peaceful serenity. I acknowledged that there must be pieces of the puzzle which I was still not seeing. I desired, as always, complete alignment with JOY.
Waking up alert three hours later in the wee hours of Friday morning, I instinctively resumed my grateful communion. Often this will take me into sleep once again, but after thirty minutes and feeling completely alert still, I asked myself if I was being summoned to “write.” Was there a message presenting? A principle that was asking to be given voice and delivered to the world… or at least to those who have prepared themselves for my posts? No.
So, why had I been awakened? What was I to do? Following the strand of curiosity leading from my deepest subconscious, I realized that I was feeling to begin reading my friend’s life story which she had recently completed, published, and gifted to me. Turning back on the nightlight, picking up the volume, I began reading. Finally, on page 15, I had my “prayer” answered. Simply. Gently. Gratefully.
Zelda shared a memory during her childhood where she had built a little pond for splashing and wading. Within the irrigation ditch, she had year-following-year widened it with a shovel and a few boards to make a makeshift dam. One whole summer she spent her time moving a big boulder out from the middle of the wading pool. Day after day she had pushed with all her childish strength, inching that mammoth rock until she had realized successful completion of her self-appointed task. Seventy years later, she had recently returned to measure that which in her memory had been “huge.” Yes, memory had served her well. The rock was about 4 1/2 feet in diameter. Even being the tiny child that she was, her determination had yielded success, while giving her a sense of accomplishment even when faced with nearly impossible odds. Zelda then included the following story within her autobiography which was new, and news, to me:
“Pushing Against the Rock” (Anonymous).
A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock out in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.
So, this he did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sundown, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might!
Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into his weary mind.
“You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn’t moved.” Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, “Why kill yourself over this? You tried. Quit wasting your time and move on.”
That’s what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take the troubled thoughts to the Lord.
“Lord,” he said, “I have labored long and hard in Your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by a millimeter. What is wrong? What am I failing?”
The Lord responded compassionately, “My child, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. NEVER ONCE DID I MENTION TO YOU THAT I EXPECTED YOU TO MOVE IT. YOUR TASK WAS TO PUSH. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed.
But is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back shiny and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard.
Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient, to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my child, will move the rock.
As I neared the end of the story, waves of understanding washed over me. Having applied every spiritual and physical sinew within my being over the last several years, knowing that my own strength was insufficient while calling upon Divine assistance always, even with complete dedication to my appointed task, I had, likewise, felt great and heavy disappointment. This disappointment was felt as I saw that I had not performed the miracle in my own life by moving into its place the “rock” which had proven time-after-time to be hardened and unyielding. I had, likewise, not motivated the “rock” to want to BE MOVED into its more rightful position. Though I had L.O.V.E.d. the “rock” with all my heart, it seemed that all my effort, all my time, all my sweat blood and tears… had been in vein. I had heeded the message within the parable of the mustard seed. Utilizing my faith, I had “commanded the (rock) to move.” Yet, it had not, though at times it had quivered and appeared that it would.
But, the message of the story now bore into my understanding. I had been asked to obey… which I had. I had been asked to pour out my love, my effort, my hope… which I had. I had been obedient and had reaped the benefit of that obedience. I had become strong. That which I had given forth… even though not received by my intended “other,” the “rock,” had reflected back and was benefitting *ME*!
I had opened up to me the concept of entering within a spiritual gym. Lifting ever increasing weights, I had gained greater strength of spirit. My emotional reserves had increased and I had been continually blessed with greater and deeper insight, just as promised! The “rock” had been my valuable trainer. My disappointment had come because I had been focused upon the “rock” itself instead of behind it at my growth and where my strength would continue to take me… into the sociality of exalted beings to which I am headed. By shifting my gaze, my disappointment melted away until I was now able to completely relax my former faulty expectations into pure “rejoicing gratitude.”
As I relaxed into this greater insight, I had much more revealed to me. As earnestly as I’ve applied deep and zealous effort “pushing” the obstacles in my path with as much grace and tenacity as I could muster, the objective, it turns out, has not been to move that which has presented great resistance to me, but… to utilize the proffered resistance to strengthen me! To reclaim my voice and my power, to have insight and understanding pour down upon me.
Again, and again, as I have applied the apparent “magic” of the Sermon on the Mount, I have been profoundly blessed with greater wisdom. My “rock” has given me ample opportunity to apply and prove the promises of this greatest sermon ever given! As Jesus repeatedly said (in other words), when you keep a watch over your emotions continually and come to me with anything less than the JOY for which you were created, with sincerity and humility and with real intent, weak things can be made strong. Indeed, we are promised to be taken into “heaven” THIS DAY! I had continually come through my communion with pure desires to overcome my lingering “disappointment,” or whatever the presenting feeling. I had knocked, and each time I had, the door of greater understanding had been opened up unto me.
Basking in the waves of light that then opened up to me, revealing greater and greater insight, I then could see the wisdom of my personal command to push against the rock in my path. Whether “the rock” ever chooses to benefit or not… I have. And with my greater perspective, now my gratitude and rejoicing is with more exultation than ever.
Thank you for the “rocks” that have been strewn in my life’s path!
Truly, I feel so blessed! Thank you, God! Thank you!
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.