Look at it this way:
If I hold out both of my closed fists and ask you what each contains AND to tell me how they relate to each other… You would be incapable of correctly responding. If, however, you had an idea what one of the fists held, then you could guess at what the other held and venture a further guess as to their relationship. For example: If you had no idea that one of the contents categorized “hot” and the other “cold” then you would not know that their relationship was “temperature.” If you thought that maybe one fist contained the representation of “yellow,” then you might guess that the other might be “red” and that their relationship was “color.” But, what if the other was “red” and their decided relationship was “apple?” Or, maybe it was “green” and their appointed relationship was “apple?” Perhaps one was “particle” and the other was “wave” and their relationship was “light.” There are infinite “relationship” potentials with infinite contents to each fist. Therefore, in order to truly KNOW… not to venture a guess or even to calculate the odds based on any known criteria… but to truly KNOW the relationship between two chosen “things” or “ideas”, one must completely understand each variable in the equation, or rather, each hidden item in each hand.
Are you with me?
As individuals, we experience life and interactions with others and gain experience. If applied, one’s experiences can help one come to understand one’s personal preferences. What do I really enjoy? What brings me lasting happiness? What tastes good and brings me lasting health and positive energy… in the long run? Which thoughts bring me the most happiness? How do I like to feel? What actions and thoughts allow me to feel that way the most and the longest? In which ways do I interact with others that affects them and myself in the highest manner? Who do I really enjoy being around? WHO AM I? Really.
Today, as most people are stuck in their perpetual running of the treadmill of “success,” they choose to use their available “free” time to be distracted… looking to THINGS, any “thing,” and OTHERS, any “one” else, except deep within them self to apply these questions and discern their own unique answers.
Because few KNOW Who *They* Truly Are… HOW, then, is it in any stretch of the imagination possible to have a TRUE relationship with Any One else who does not yet KNOW Who *They* Truly Are???
As one does begin to apply them self to learn about them self during their experiences in life, they will consciously evolve. They will come to respect and value them self more. They will forgive them self and their past indiscretions along their journey of self-discovery easier. AND TO THAT VERY SAME DEGREE, they will respect, love, value and forgive every “other.”
Now, back to “relationships”:
If one variable… You… apply your self during life to gain more and more integrity and develop consciously… but the “other” in a relationship does NOT, then your perhaps somewhat workable prior “equation” no longer equates as it did before. If you “thought” before that you were a “two” and you operated from that perspective, yet life helped you to determine that, no, you are closer to a “five” and yet the other thinks and operates from the perspective of a “one”… then the former answer to your relationship equation of “three” (2 + 1 = 3) no longer works! You have outgrown that relationship!
IF your name truly is “Becky,” then there is good reason for me to believe that you, Becky, are female. Wearing a female body, you have access to hidden information. Yes, females “see through the veil,” or rather, females have greater propensity to understand the innate essence behind another’s “mask” or assumed persona. Because most individuals have failed to really, steadily, apply them self to dis-cover Who *They* TRULY Are, they are living an invented identity. But, as you look deeply within their soul, you see the essence or “spirit” of another individual and treat them as they REALLY are. IF they are open-minded and have contrite enough spirit to allow them self to stretch into THAT True Being, then your equation can likewise be flexible and the two variables are able to shift into new alignment and integrity. Now, you can allow the answer to also be elastic and present the wholeness of a new and workable sum.
This is precisely why women MUST be the nurturers! Women must “come home” and raise the children! Correctly and in wholeness! Women, after first dis-covering Who *They* are… Really, Actually, Truly, In Essence… must take up their appointed tasks to “raise the sons of earth.” Not as the males have believed they “should” be. Not as the males have “wanted” to be. Not as history has prescribed their roles, but AS THEY *TRULY* Are!
Okay… now, I can in simplicity answer your question. 🙂
To emotionally detach from people,
you must first discover who YOU are and live the Truth of Your Being. None other. Then, you love and validate every other Being sincerely and purely and to the best of your ability, not as they currently present them selves, but as they Truly Are.
If they do not respond in ways that feel comfortable or allow you to live in integrity with the Truth of Your Being…
Then “divorce” them.
Leave the conversation.
Disengage from the equation.
Give them the space and the opportunity to live their life as they choose to and flounder (if that is their choice) or not (if that is their choice) without you.
BE the HAPPY Flavor that You Are!
Love Them… the Real, essential Them… from afar.
In your mind and heart you quietly and sincerely “thank” them for helping you dis-cover who you Really Are. They were your teacher for a time. But, you have “graduated” from their class.
You do not have to continue hanging out with teachers or former classmates… unless you choose to because you want to because they enhance your life going forward!
Go enjoy other classes with other teachers as you realize that your shared interactions can assist to teach each of you more clearly who you Truly Are.
Find the JOY that you Are!
BE the JOY that you Are!
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.