I was recently asked: “How do I get rid of my sarcastic attitude?”
I responded: “You are half way there! 🙂 Being mature enough to look at and acknowledge a characteristic about your self, decide that you desire to change and CAN change, and then seek to discover HOW to go about that change is half the battle. Congratulations!”
Let’s look first at where a “sarcastic attitude”… OR ANY ATTITUDE !!! … comes from:
Feeling good and confident about your self is a set-point of balance. Happiness is the term that defines that you are in a state of emotional stability. Like everyone, you are continually attempting to maintain balance/ happiness in your life. Regaining stability is beneath every action and re-action.
Picture a young child learning to walk. Each step, each placement of the arms, is an attempt to correct an out of balance situation while moving forward (or backwards if you will). Walking is continual counter-balancing. One step forward with your right leg requires a re-action of the left leg moving forward to attempt balance. But these movements do not completely succeed at maintaining balance and thus, you utilize your arms to assist as you continue walking forward until both feet are placed squarely on the ground. Or your backside on a chair.
Sarcasm is the way You learned to re-establish your emotional balance, or feeling equal to others.
It has been a crutch for you.
Perhaps you have grown emotionally to the point that you are now ready to make a go of emotionally walking forward without the crutch of sarcasm.
Sarcasm is generally defined as a sharp or cutting remark and is distinguished by the tone of voice used. Its intent is to de-value another so that the user feels at an equal or higher level in an attempt to re-establish an out-of-balance confidence level.
Sarcasm was the way you chose at some earlier point to deal with feeling of lesser worth than others. Probably you had a care-giver early on who unknowingly mentored you through their example in utilizing that tone of voice and re-action. It was the way THEY used to attempt to help them self feel better. It seemed to work for them, so You adopted it. Whoever it was, you experimented upon that attitude. Practiced over time, you developed habits or a general attitude of being sarcastic.
Sarcasm temporarily feels good (“happy”) because it gives your brain a squirt of serotonin as you feel superior to others. Sarcasm is also the way you have learned to look at a situation to redefine what’s important so the reward seems approachable. This mentality gives you a squirt of dopamine. Possibly, the others who witness your sarcasm chuckle and seem to validate your expression. This builds social bonds which gives you another “happy” neural chemical called oxytocin. You have just walked up to your mental “bar,” ordered your favorite elixir, and downed it. Your personal drink of choice just so happens to be named “sarcasm.”
Sarcasm has, thus, become your “addiction.” You get “high” to some degree by implementing a sarcastic attitude. But, like all drugs, there will be side-effects. You have obviously realized that using sarcasm is not worth the costs. Sarcasm leaves you eventually feeling even more out-of-balance than before. It is not a natural high because it was never meant to be a part of your permanent nature. Now that you are attempting to grow UP emotionally, you can replace that old, worn-out crutch with genuine strength-training exercises. 🙂
In order to walk forward without that sarcastic crutch, you must become brutally HONEST. You can not lie to your self, pouring those temporary mental beverages any longer. You must realize that the feelings of lacking worth are your True Self’s attempt to communicate to the rational part of “you” that you are out of balance and that the crutch you have been using does not allow for True Self Empowerment.
This honesty with and respect for one’s self, one’s True Self, trumps every other virtue (every temporary neural “hit”). In religious terms (and correctly translated), this is: “Thou shalt love thy Self with all thy heart, might, mind and strength”… the first commandment. “And the second is like unto it: Thou shalt love thy neighbor AS thy Self.”
Decide to live completely integrous to your internal knowing. Yes, to do this WILL require some deep introspection and course changes, including relationships, beliefs, hopes. Completely stop all the lying, justifying, sneaking, deceiving, defensiveness, projecting of guilt onto others. Be zealously and completely honest… even and especially to your self. Live humanely and respectfully to the highest, most chaste, benevolent GOOD you know each moment. Align every thought, word, and action to the highest and purest voice inside your self. Make all decisions and actions according to your inner barometer of Who YOU Are… not how you have thought you “wanted” to be, nor how other people have told you you “should” be, but according to your own personal inner alignment.
Like a pure little child, TRUST the direction you receive from within your own being each and every moment. As you live in total transparency, hiding nothing, absolutely honest and integrous and respecting of *YOU,* you will re-gain your original confidence in your abilities to navigate through every situation that you flow into. Let go of the “shame” and the fear of not being good enough. Quit judging your self as “less than.” FIND YOU. BE. YOU.
As long as you listen to, respect, and follow your pure inner guidance, you will re-gain your original confidence and will fan the spark of confidence within all those with whom you come in contact; you will have no “hidden” side because you will realize that *YOU* are always watching you. You are accountable to no one but the wise and powerful *YOU* that is within and watching over, guiding you.
“As soon as you TRUST Your SELF you will know how to live.” Johann Von Goethe
I wish you true and lasting happiness on your journey!
May you find who you Really Are! May you learn to really Love your Self with every thought, word, feeling, and action! As you learn to walk forward with emotional balance (Happiness), you will have no more reason to use sarcasm, you will have the continual attitude of doing good to all and desire to assist every other’s lasting happiness level.
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.