“Taking care of one’s self” is the most pro-active and essential activity one can undertake.
All have experienced relationships that have involved pain of varying sorts. It is impossible to escape mortal life unscathed.
The list of ‘go-to’s’ is long. Many look to others for their comfort, or to shopping, pets, sex, exercise, competitive sports, work, food, innumerable distracting activities, mind-numbing drugs (legal or illegal), etc. etc. Technology now is looked to in order to fill the bill for so many.
Yet, the greatest way to “take care of yourself” has been judged “religious,” controlled by self-serving entities (a.k.a. organized churches)… and overlooked.
(I will get to that in a moment. First, a little preparation.) 🙂
We each, no matter our culture, our IQ, our family of origin and its implanted beliefs, our experiences, our body shape-size-condition…
We EACH have an inherent yet deep-seated sense of being of unprecedented value. Upon very first breath, we enter our unique individual experiences with an awareness that “I AM!” and that “Am-ness” makes us alive and deserving of life. We KNOW on the deepest level that the universe “revolves around ME.”
to varying tempos and volumes…
each one of us experiences the dismantling by others of this inherent worthiness. Unseen. Unawares. Yet Real.
We take upon our selves, actually have thrust upon us, a given name. One of our first token “gifts,” this given name comes with strings attached, with expectations from many, many sources; the first and most imprinting sources being one’s primary care-givers. THIS is “who you are,” THEY say, THIS is who we expect you to be.
We each learn false characteristics, contrary beliefs and re-actions from those around us, especially during those fundamental first seven years.
Though we were (before that first breath) our own “god,” overseeing our own growth and development from a very wise all-knowing Intelligence written into our mother’s egg by Nature Herself, “mommy” then becomes the supplanted “god” and her way of looking and interacting with the world at large gets literally RE-programmed into us through our essential “mirror neurons” that learn early on how to “be” just through observing her.
While all the while that precious inner awareness of our unprecedented value gets pushed down deeper and deeper by layer-upon-layer of counter-programming. Yes, our intrinsic value and True Identity is silenced more and more as it seeks refuge within our most sacred place of stillness. You see, each of us have an inner coffin where this sweetest of all essences resides imprisoned, buried alive, except for some allowed resuscitation and release periodically when it is allowed out and we feel “free” and congruent once again.
Finally, at some point, within some life time, we realize: “Enough is enough already!” We then begin to take responsibility for our own self-care. We learn to look, really look, at our inner environment, our mental chatter, our feelings, desires, passions, appetites. We begin to see our self, the truest self that has been hiding, condemned, within. Taking pity, we hold out a hand to her, beckon her to step forth: she is safe now. We will listen, hold, assist her to find her voice, her place, her dignity and worth. We begin to seriously attempt to find others who will join us in this recognition and life-enabling experience. We begin to “own” the parts and pieces that have been ostracized, judged as unworthy, bad, wrong, “evil.” As we do this, we learn those parts that are TRULY us and those that masquerade and try to fool us as being us. We then replace and prune away the non-me from the Real Me.
Here’s what happened:
During sex, both mother and father release oxytocin within their system. The sperm and egg, as well as each cell in the body, is thus served warmth and good-feeling. Each fetus then is developed within a placental environment including oxytocin. Later, during contractions and vaginal birth (including UN-scheduled cesarean sections), this highly charged feel-so-good protein further floods the system of both the newborn child and her mother. THIS foundational experience, this “wash of nirvana,” generates feelings of bliss and importance, connection and belonging, that establishes “the bar” for each other moment of life.
And what is oxytocin? It is the brain chemical, the neural elixir, that releases in the brain and circulation at the same time. Nursing, skin-to-skin touch, breastfeeding, all further the warm feelings of wholeness and goodness in infancy. Just by viewing each other, mother and child both receive “hits” of this all-is-right-in-my-world natural drug.
As a child grows, more than just his mother’s milk is weaned from his system… and from hers. Instead, cortisol, adrenaline, and eventually testosterone are substituted. The precious child who initially receives feedback that matches his inherent self-knowing is taught to view himself and MENTALLY FEED himself, steady doses of neural-chemical “poison.”
Yes, most currently walking upon earth are thinking their way to the grave. When deprived of early natural developmental experiences with wise and emotionally warm care-givers, the inherent ability to TRUST is stripped away. Trust that all is right in one’s world (no matter how large that world-view is, from uterus, to mother’s arms, to ever-widening circles) becomes instead: tense suspicion and fear, stress and unrest. Thus begins the journey of replacing that original state with Sex, Food, Shopping, Money, Control, Verbal sparring, Sports, Work. Again, each of these avenues… and many more… are explored in attempts to assuage the inner aching hunger.
Yet, no amount of alternative brain chemistry is found to fit the bill for long, and the inner hunger pangs sharpen as relationships with others, who likewise have not re-membered their original Self, brings feelings of loneliness and “abuse.”
All the while, we each KNOW… on that deepest of levels… that we were born for more than this!
In religious terms, “men ARE that they might have joy.” (Book of Mormon 2Nephi 2: 25) But NO religion, even and especially the one that “owns” this “scripture” understands first WHY an individual exists NOR what “JOY” means or feels like!
But, in all sincerity… I do.
Again, NOT INTENDED TO BE RELIGIOUS but to be common Knowing for ALL, is the principle taught by many wise seers throughout the ages. Please see my post of the STAIRWAY to HEAVEN*
Those first 12 verses within Matthew 5 describe HOW to correctly and completely “take care of yourself everyday.” And… finally to get to the crux of my answer… it is THAT “selfcare” that *I* utilize.
PLEASE, please, please… for YOUR sake, please… read and ponder deeply upon that entire post. (For those who subscribe to the LDS worldview, You have had a two-fold opportunity to have discovered this eternal treatment plan for your selves, but you have missed it! Matthew 5–7 is also nearly word-for-word repeated in 3Nephi 12–14 of the Book of Mormon.)
To help you in your study and dis-covery leading to your own personal healing self-care, Matthew 5: 3–12 describe an ascendancy process. For those who allow themselves to look within and take responsibility for HOW they feel, realizing that they DON’T feel like they want to, yet decide that they are willing to do what can be done by themselves for them self… verse 3 begins by saying that “Blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me and learn that which the Father hath given me for them; for their spirits shall be filled and they shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.”
Or, in translation and without the intentionally vague verbiage:
IF you recognize that you currently have little good feeling, or rather, an IMPOVERISHED SPIRIT, yet return step-by-step back to the Real Truth of your inherent ultimate value… THEN… your spirit (read this NON-religious term as meaning the way you see, think, and feel about your self) will be FILLED and you will enter back into your original state of “rightness” and “goodness” and “worthiness” and JOY!
How is this done?
It really is an easy concept to grasp once the contrived hindrances and implanted mis-understandings are dismantled and removed.
Allow oxytocin to lead the way. !!! Choose that each and every thought, feeling, mental picture, action, re-action, EVERYTHING YOU DO will be done with a desire to live in a mental ocean of this elixir. Choose that you will feel that same state of precious worthiness and innocent awareness of your self and everyone else… always. This means that you will begin to flow again with life. You will choose your words, your food, your thoughts, your friends, your activities with your long-lasting best feeling continually in your mind. You will relinquish your judgment of “abuse” and wrongness of other’s actions and replace them with the awareness that THEY have acquired IGNORANCE instead of their original Self-Knowing and that in their ignorance they are just trying to re-gain their own missing self-validation.
As you care for your self by climbing up stair-by-stair, starting from the realization that you are POOR in your spirit, to a mourning for that original good state that was lost (verse 4) to becoming meek, hungering and thirsting no longer for the worldly appetites but for lastingly correct interactions with others, becoming merciful, etc….
As you continue to climb this “stairway to heaven,” you will eventually reach the pinnacle. It is at that summit that you will be flooded again with oxytocin, choosing and knowing how to remain in that state always. Yes, you will live in a state of peaceful “rejoicing with exceeding gladness” EVEN WHEN BEING “persecuted” by others WHILE DOING GOOD TO THEM.
This state is possible.
This state is the final stage of your mortal development.
This state was written into your life plan BEFORE you took your first breath.
So what if you are far from it now.
So what if your life has been treacherously difficult thus far.
The greatest plots are laced with challenges and seemingly impossible situations!
Make YOUR STORY’s next chapters a glorious reversal of circumstances. BECOME “SPIRITUALLY” Wealthy by learning to Truly, Really, Completely, Wholly Care for your Self.
As you do, you will become a truly Empathic person. You will heal your severed trust cycle. You will become Intelligent, Wise. You will no longer need to “guess” in any situation, but will Know how to maneuver through each further step. As you do, you will assist each and every “recovering other” to find THEIR inner source of good feeling.
This is how I live.
Yes, I have gone through personal trials of the most grievous kind. I have had to learn and experience for my self these long-hidden truths.
But, they work. They are eternal principles. Good feeling… VERY GOOD FEELING… ALWAYS… is intended for Each One of Us.
I wish you Joy.
I send you my Light and Hope.
You, too, can do it!
You deserve to do it!
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.