Picture, if you will, Michelangelo’s magnificent portrayal upon the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel of the finger of God reaching out to touch the outstretched finger of man. Upon that ceiling, wholeness, love, true “connection,” is visually represented as being “a breath (or touch) away.”
The intense, persistent longing of the human soul to really connect is perhaps the greatest longing known to mortality. Etymologically, connect means ‘tie or bind together.’ Upon the first breath, the immortal spirit joins forces with the physical body to work together upon this temporal world in the hopes that the desire to re-connect to the feeling of “one-ness” enjoyed before birth can be brought forth and fully realized in this temporal dimension. But, as one looks around (really looks around), one sees that this planet is, instead, populated by human-like creatures who resemble, in many ways, the Gods, yet who are dis-connected, cut-off, severed from their home, their Creator. AND from each other. Deeply.
Perhaps the greatest “dis-ease” known to man, I believe, has been given the name, among others, R.A.D., or Re-active Attachment Disorder. In short, attachment is defined as “the affectional tie between two people.” It begins, in mortality, with the bond between the infant and mother. This bond becomes internally representative of how the child will form relationships with others in the world. Attachment Disorder is defined as the condition in which individuals have difficulty forming lasting relationships. They often show nearly a complete lack of ability to be genuinely affectionate with others. Some infamous people who have been diagnosed as suffering from this disorder include: Adolph Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Edgar Allen Poe, Jeffery Dahmer, and Ted Bundy. Another who received help and love and went on to finish her life with incredible wisdom and ability to connect was Helen Keller.
Yet virtually each individual alive today, to varying degrees, suffers from this disorder/ disease/ disconnection. As a people lover, I have spent considerable time really watching my fellow brothers and sisters. I have seen soooo many lonely people; people who have not completely been severed from all emotional ties to the rest of humanity and are yet feeling the intense pain and gnawing to really connect.
Many years ago, for a few months during my time of being “single,” I utilized a couple of “online dating services.” My heart has felt the yearning of each individual pictured on the sites who is calling out for someone (sometimes Any some-one) to bring him back into the feeling of being “connected.” “I do have something to offer.” “I am of some value still.” “Won’t you please notice me?” their pictures often seem to plead.
Throughout today’s media, the theme is pumped out continually. “Lonely, I am so lonely. I got nobody to call my own. . .” Everyone everywhere wants to be wanted, to be noticed, to be re-connected!
A few years ago, I was able to view a scene that continues to haunt me. The video clip was secretly taken by a co-worker and Diane Sawyer, deep within Romania, in a children’s orphanage. While some of the children visually captured on the video were given infrequent attention and stimulation from the adult caregivers and other children, by most of our standards, this care-giving was greatly sub-standard. Many children were shown to do almost anything to get any attention. Negative attention was far better than none! Some children, however, resorted to “withdrawing” emotionally, sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth.
To me, the most haunting video clip was of the nearly skeletal frame of a “human” boy of about 12 years, who was given just enough calories a day to keep him alive, yet no personal interaction. He was strapped down to a bed. His body, speechless and weighing almost nothing, was twisted and contorted, as a pretzel, onto itself. This was his attempt to be touched, to be stimulated, and to have some human interaction, even if only with his own, barely-alive skeletal self. He was doing what he could to connect.
Another haunting picture I have is of a 12-year-old girl from a South American village who had been raised with the chickens in a coop during the day while her mother worked for her meager wages out in the fields. This young girl squawked and shrieked like the chickens, with her limbs bent as wings. She had found ways to “connect” with those in her circle of experience—the chickens.
Long ago, I was told of a man, alone (though not as alone as the above two examples) and lonely, who utilized the barbershop at BYU. His visits became increasingly more frequent, until they were about a week apart. Finally, in confusion and frustration, the hair stylist asked him why he had come back to have his hair cut, when there was almost none of it left, it was so short. In sincerity the man replied that he was lonely, and she was the only one who would touch him. . . .
The need to touch and be touched, the desire to connect, to feel one. . . . Where do these feelings come from? Why are they so universal? So intense and unrelenting?
In the story of Adam and Eve within the Garden, they felt “one” with the Father. However, at some point, naming (which is the verbalization of “things” being recognized as unique, different from each other), judging and dis-connection, entered in. Their posterity began separating themselves into individual “family” units, with fences; then communities, and nations with borders; categorizing, severing themselves from each other. Loving one’s neighbor as one’s self gave way to acquiring “stuff” and setting one’s self up and apart from another.
When Jesus taught the parable of the bride groom, he was attempting to portray our “Father” as the bride groom, ready and willing to completely open his heart and issue forth un-conditional love to each of us, his potential partner, in a true “marriage.” This, is “marriage” as our Father wants us to experience. Not something “legalized” by a signed document upon the wall, but something real, substantial, tangible, connecting. One heart, healed and whole, reaching forth to touch another heart, outstretched to touch it. True connection. True at-one-ment. The Father’s love being lived on earth, as it is in heaven.
In many circles, the term “we are all one” is thrown around and around, back and forth. But, in very simple terms, “what in the heck does being ‘one’ mean?”
If objectively viewed, all of humanity’s emotional desires can be traced back to the drive for sex. What is it? In the “hierarchy of needs” (espoused by psychologist Abraham Maslow), above the physical needs of shelter, food, sleep, are the “emotional” needs of acceptance, appreciation and validation. Although not originally engaged upon birth, puberty ignites a plethora of hormones that, at times, may feel to be raging. For males, these sexual desires are more animalistic (during humanity’s present transitional stage). But for females, we engage in sex (whether we are consciously aware of it or not, believe it or not, or even with no dependence on the degree of enjoyment) to fulfill our needs for bonding and connection.
An important question all men might want to seriously consider before becoming intimate with a girl is: “if you have sex with her, she’s going to be emotionally entwined with you. Are you sure you’re ready for the consequences of that?” For parents of pre-teen or teenage boys, it might, likewise, be most beneficial to explore this concept as well.
The emotions are “energy in motion”. It is spirit (energy, light, the essence of who we really are) choosing and acting and BEing the creator that it is. If a man is physically intimate with a woman, because of her innate programming and needs for acceptance, he has just attached himself to her. Essentially, he is “taking her on.” All her “unfinished business” and “emotional baggage” is now shared on his shoulders or rather, lodged within HIS heart as well.
Even if it is a rape or a one-night stand and the man never sees the woman again, they have become emotionally entangled. No matter the distance. He is able to (if he were “in tune” enough) to tap into her “vibes” and continue that connection. In fact, until she is pure and free of baggage, he will not be free of her, as he has taken it all upon himself, unless he learns to peacefully disengage emotionally and mentally as well as physically from any attachment to her.
Since the network of sexual entanglements knows no end on this globe and, truly, we can start at nearly any point (any “individual”) and (if all was completely made known) then we could “connect the dots” from that individual to each and every person he or she ever became emotionally involved with on and on and on, tying together pretty much every person on this planet.
So, then, what’s the “answer?” Since we’re all emotionally involved anyway, is a sexual “free-for-all” the answer? It is IF a person is ready to upload all of the potential sex partner’s emotional “baggage” onto himself… remembering that what she carries is not only hers, but extends to everyone she’s ever been emotionally intimate with, and everyone they have ever been emotionally intimate with, and everyone they have ever been emotionally intimate with… on and on back to the beginning of physical sexual experience.
So, then, what IS the “answer?” The global answer is really just the same as healing or strengthening a parent-child bond. With respect for all, judgment for none, in every interaction with another individual:
Look in their eyes
Say their name
Respectfully interact with them as you would do to yourself if you were in their shoes.
Visualize, if you will, a spider. This spider, high in the rafters of Farmer Brown’s barn, eyes the nearby post. Using her spinnerets, she lets out a fine, silky filament and attaches it to the post. Then she puts her sites on the next sturdy spot and establishes an anchor, another outside boundary for her web. After creating the outside frame, she then weaves into and out of, back and forth in an intricate masterpiece.
Likewise, though without much apparent premeditation or awareness, mankind is creating a web of sorts. If viewed with “spiritual” eyes and with a global perspective, the “web” that mankind has spun… resembles a very tangled mess.
Since we are capable of imagination and, as Jesus and other sages have taught, the thought is the same as the act… what man has NOT gotten himself involved with at least one woman?! If still a “virgin” physically, his thoughts surely have “gone there.”
Why are men programmed to be fixated on younger women, “virgins,” often times on very young girls, or even babies? They have programming, without even knowing it, that “what they (don’t even) see… is what they get!” A “virtuous,” “pure” girl or woman will have less baggage to combine with his own (at least from her present life).
When a sexual thought, desire, touch, action (of whatever kind)… and this even involves watching or imagining someone else act it out (through their presence, viewing a movie, whatever) an emotional filament is released (picture the spider spinning a thread) that attaches itself ethereally to that man’s mind. He is now “connected” very literally, even if not seen, to that other person.
In essence, in this grand game of global “Tag,” HE is now IT (or ONE of the “Its”)—to emotionally help her to clear up her “stuff.”
The Mayan’s have a legend that the “First Father” willingly offered himself up as a sacrifice so that creation could begin. We have each “fallen” or “dropped” in vibration/ resonance. In essence, we are each (at least mostly) spiritually “dead.” Just as a human mortal is “toe tagged” with pertinent details soon after physical death, so are we “tagging” the emotions of all those we have feelings and connections for.
To be “clean” requires that a person have NO “mental tags” attached to anyone else. With no charged energy, no “unforgiveness,” no “baggage” for any other person on the planet, that person then becomes, in essence, a “virgin.” Whether they have “sexually” become intertwined in the past with one or seven billion other individuals, it does not matter anymore.
The irony is: at that point, sexual “needs” have been overcome.
The Mayans were not alone; many other cultures practiced forms of human sacrifice on some level. Somehow, they had a belief that a virgin must be sacrificed on an altar and the heart cut out and offered to the Gods. Little did they know that by participating in this act erroneously, they were only contributing to the disharmony in their own heart and life, as well as adding more discordant energy to the human bucket.
However, on an emotional level, this is precisely what was taught (and misunderstood by almost everyone) by those who did have proper understanding.
Regardless of whether the sexual makeup of their current physical body is predominantly male or female, one who has released through genuine forgiveness and non-judgment every entanglement with everyone else, including them self– IS A VIRGIN. That individual, of his or her own volition, “offers him- or herself as a willing sacrifice on the altar”—meaning: lives a life of pure, unselfish service to all by being true to them self and maintaining their JOYful energy, “offering” their “actions” on the “holy altar” of mankind’s shared energy field. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” All their actions and thoughts maintain the harmony of their inner essence’s vibration. They are living a pure and holy life… even if it is (and it will be) different than any other “virgin’s” life… for the good of all.
In essence, their heart has overcome (or, been “cut out of”) their physical drives (the body) and the “lower nature” of the depraved human condition. Their life is lived for the good of all people and creation everywhere (their heart symbolically being offered to the “Gods”).
This person then has regained his or her original “tag” (“name” or vibrational signature) and it remains within their own swollen and warm, pure heart.
Think about the sexual experience for a moment. Is not kissing (especially “French” kissing) and the act of sexual intercourse itself, nothing more (on a physical level) than bringing another’s body into one’s own? Re-connecting? Indeed, babies come “pre-wired” to fill the emptiness inside (hunger, loneliness, fear) with something. Rooting around to find mom’s nipple or the bottle and sucking are the first instincts that move a newborn baby. Many infants later also resort to the thumb, fingers, blanket, “pacifier,” toy. These temporary “comforts” later “evolve.” Perhaps the penis, or the tongue, can provide the missing element of the heart…?
There is, indeed, a pre-programmed design to fill the empty cavities. However, the only cave that really must be filled is the hollow heart. And, though drugs, money, material “things,” worldly knowledge, food, power, etc. are all lame attempts to fill the emptiness, assuage the real hunger, there is only ONE thing that can do the trick; and only ONE person who can provide that for us. WE must heal our own heart; with self love and acceptance, living in “unadulterated” accord with who we Truly are.
It has been said, and rightly so, that “Thou shalt love the Lord, thy God (Self), with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.” The second (commandment) is like unto it: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”
Even the “great commandment” was said to apply to “Some ONE” OUT THERE. However, when properly understood:
True love exacts that I must love myself (my REAL GOD Self) with all my heart (great, consistent, allowing, glorious emotion), all my soul (my physical body acting in concert with those feelings) and with all my mind (thoughts and intentions and desires).
As I allow and cherish my SELF and live in accord with the great unifying JOY of my body, thoughts, emotions, my works will all be a representation of who I really AM. I will then (naturally) treat all others with the same depth of allowance, joy and wisdom. There will be NO ONE who will be above or below me. I will perceive and treat ALL equally as divine, beautiful, and worthy of my perfect love.
As Mother Teresa said: “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”
Emmett Fox is quoted as saying: “If you could only love enough, you could be the most powerful person in the world.”
But real, true love must begin within one’s self, for one’s self. From the Buddha: “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
- So how does one feel no longer separate from All-that-is? How do I really, completely “connect” to what it is that I feel dis-connected from? Or, as Saint Teresa of Avila asked, “How does the soul make love to God? Reveal this truth to me in my heart of hearts. Let me go and pray in the inner sanctuary…. I am awestruck with the intimate and infinite union of knowing God and how they meet within me. We are meant to know God not just through the mind, but the heart as well. We go to the end of our intellect and then take a leap into the threshold of love.”
Thus, through the “fall of mankind”, the grand and cosmic game of hiding our true nature from our fallen character began, so that we could play the game here in mortality of “hide-and-seek.” It all, literally, began with sexual union (as exhibited each time a newborn infant roots around, latching on to some “thing”—the breast or bottle), looking OUTside of our Self for completion and unity, fulfillment. AND, through sex it will have its end. As we each accept our divinity, fall deeply and completely in love with our God Self and then extend that love to every “other”, we are, in essence, repairing and completing our original DNA pattern. Radiating out that truth through our eyes, touch, voice and actions to every “other,” we help them then to mend their own fallen DNA.
- Since sex is “the sharing of genetic (DNA) information”, when we interact with each other according to who they Truly are and as WE Truly are, we are sharing the correct and elevated (no longer “fallen”) realization of their original DNA pattern; hence, loving them for who they REALLY are. We are “feeding” them the truth, the love, the equality, of their eternal reality! This truth helps heals them and sets them free from their false-identity imprisonment.
As we visualize embracing the dirtiest, vilest, ugliest and most “despicable” human creature on the planet and willingly take “them” into our hearts through complete acceptance of their Divine Self (even if we do not condone their current behavior), we are helping to heal them, ourselves and our collective, earthly home and family. Physical copulation does not have to be a part of the process. Indeed, in all likelihood it will NOT be, as that would only extenuate the game of “hide-and-seek” instead of helping to end it.
- The “Re-connection” (“to tie or bind BACK together”) then, is to heal our SELF, having “NO strings attached”, NO “ties,” “binds” or “tags.” Once this happens for one, there are fewer interwoven strands in the messy tangle of humanity, freeing others up to do the same.
- As I write this, my computer pops up with a box that tells me it has encountered a problem and needs to close. Soon after, it restarts and there, in front of my eyes, is an article entitled “How to Pick the Perfect Mate.” Interesting! Yet, again, we are all divinely wired to fill that emptiness within our heart, thus being our OWN “Perfect Mate.” Though we have, throughout recorded history, flounderingly lived, erroneously, by buying into the notion that the right “prescription” for that emptiness is… withOUT, hiding “somewhere”.
As Abraham Lincoln was able to help oversee and re-connect a greatly severed “Union,” perhaps we, also, may make re-union with our Self and others through having “malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right….” Then, “let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow and his orphan – to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, amongst ourselves, and with all nations” by loving our selves completely and wholly first. The real, true, powerful… re-connection.
- In service…
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.