A child is born. Infinite are the pathways before him. As he gains experience, each action receives an answering inner response, heard by no one but himself. This is what is often termed the “conscience.” This “still, small voice” is a feeling of inner peace and rightness, giving validation and self-respect. This “silent counselor” can also sound like “fingers on a chalkboard” in response to a thought, feeling, or action that is out of alignment with the individual’s innate, programmed-in desire for a life of humanity and joy.
The voice of conscience, as described in religious circles, is often termed the “spirit” or “god” within man, or that which whispers out of the midst of him. Those who reject this voice place themselves in grave peril as they continue their life without its guidance, groping in darkness, failing to fulfill their full pattern of life. This conscience has been described as the “wormy feeling you get when you do something you shouldn’t.”
Only as one learns to live by this infallible guide can he possibly live true to himself, his True Self. This voice is the “Spirit of Truth” speaking within him. It never flatters. It never condemns without cause. It is the one true, unfailing, all-knowing, dependable friend. In following the glorious voice of his true inner self that knows and comprehends all things, he lives above the groping, blundering conscious mind, with its lack of understanding, its changing whims and moods, its instabilities. He lives in contact with the super-conscious mind at all times. And with this growing understanding and divine contact, he will soon find that the voice not only speaks after he has acted in blind, blundering ignorance… but it will speak before the act is done, before the harsh or false word is spoken. Thus, by listening to, respecting, and heeding this inner voice, all mistakes can be eliminated.
Two boys can steal a friend’s toy. Both will hear that rebuke from within. One heeds it and permits that “wormy” feeling to have its cleansing work. He will be led to make amends and take care of his wrong-doing. And you may be sure that that boy will not likely steal again. The other, by refusing to be rebuffed, and by hardening his heart and sealing his mind, rejoices that he was not caught. He will seek to justify his action, telling himself the “rightness” of what he has done in an attempt to argue with the inner voice. As his inner debate grows louder, he gradually silences his inner counselor, eventually trapping it beneath layers of defensive neural programming. This creates mental walls that seal off the voice from its assistance at other times. In scripture terms, this is living “past feeling.” Later, the boy who has programmed his mind thus, will continue his life of defensiveness, self-justification, lying, stealing. This is the road of all criminals, the road away from the true pattern of life within. This is also the road to loneliness, “narcissism” and self-hate.
A “narcissist” is one who has walled off his or her inner voice and learned to instead put his or her attention upon the material things of the world and the outer appearances in life. Without the inner counselor being heard to give both guidance and validation, the individual is left to himself, lonely, without the inner peace, self-respect, and direction that the conscience can give. As such, he sees himself primarily as a temporal body having a physical experience. Others are viewed as mere objects to be used and discarded as needed. With each step taken, each action experienced in this “lone and dreary world,” devoid of one’s best friend, his conscience, the individual descends further into his self-imposed prison of dis-connect from the world of feelings. Without acknowledging, respecting, hearing and acting upon his own feelings, of course he cannot acknowledge, respect or validate and assist another’s feelings. He has built no frame of reference for feelings, his own or others. This is commonly termed as having a lack of empathy. Without the ability to feel enmity, or this inner voice of guidance, one is also devoid of empathy, the ability to correctly feel and understand another’s feelings.
Without a working conscience, one is without self-respect. Without self-respect, it is impossible to have deep and abiding self-love. Thus, a “narcissist,” or one seemingly devoid of conscience, though appearing to have an unwarranted and inflated sense of self, is using his thoughts, words, and actions to try to continually convince himself and others of his self-importance.
Investing unrealized energy to maintain internal sentinels to keep his “still, small voice” (or the voice of his feelings) silenced, brings emptiness and misery to his life, keeping him feeling cut off from those he could otherwise feel deep connection to. Because he has not yet learned how to hear and interpret his own feelings, he is likewise unable to respect and understand others’ feelings. Although a “narcissist” might have impeccable use of language, the “word” within is the language course he has continually failed to complete.
Thus, “narcissism,” which is often understood as a personality disorder with exaggerated levels of self obsession, can be understood. It is not that the person has so much a sense of self-importance as that he is stuck in the mode of trying to talk louder than the inner voice which he mistakenly views as his enemy instead of his greatest friend. His arrogant behavior, his excessive urge for admiration, his trouble taking criticism, is merely because he has mis-identified his inner voice as out to destroy him. He feels trapped in a continual battle within himself.
Often, a narcissist has sought and found refuge in strong physical abilities. This might include mental abilities. Putting his focus on these, as well as directing others’ focus here as well, he can gain a sense of pride (which always “goes before the fall”) and a preoccupation on the physical-material realm. Thus was Ecclesiastes’ truth: “vanity of vanities, all is vanity.” Without his inner connection and focus on the inherent (spiritual) qualities, a narcissist, though perhaps cocky, crafty and capable of deducing mental pattern recognition, a narcissist is “vain and foolish” while despising the thought that he might appear ignorant.
One of the greatest gifts a parent can bequeath their child is teaching him to listen for and hear this inner guidance. Indeed, the parent’s role is a temporary one, one of preparing the child to give strict adherence to the conscience in order to discover his unique propensities and prepare to responsibly share them with the rest of humanity, receiving joy and self-validation as he does. Discovering one’s true self is a journey of exploratory joy, but can only be undertaken appropriately with strict heed to this inner counselor. Tragically, this inner director, that which COULD be one’s best and dearest friend, is often silenced and walled off by continually ignoring its assistance.
Although parents often are not prepared for their awesome task of preparing their child to live his life responsibly and with joyful humanity, many hints have been given and placed within books that have been available through the years as additional witnesses. Another term for this “wormy feeling” is enmity, or the “light of Christ.” David, in the Biblical book of Psalms declares: “Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” With careful training, this is how one COULD view the “wormy feeling,” not as a hindrance to one’s choices and agency, but as a comfort and a protection from wrong-doing. When this inner signal is perceived, one can react with either disdain: “shut up!” or with gratitude, “Thank you for calling my attention to a potential bad experience!”
It is when the conscience is seared with a red-hot iron so that the inner voice is silenced that one feels “hopeless” and in despair. He has lost contact with his greatest and truest friend. He is left to flounder on his own, with only the advice by others from without, those who can only guess at what his true pattern for life was meant to be. Without his true inner guidance with its approving whisper, its guiding direction, he is let to grope blindly in the mud and darkness. Although he is the one who silenced the voice through his repeated ignoring of its direction, he feels the one forsaken, and alone. Thus, life becomes a drab, mediocre thing of outer show and inner frustration. This is the “self-hate” trap of the narcissist.
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As part of the upcoming seminar (April 15-18, 2019), we will cover who, what, and why is “the narcissist,” and how to heal from narcissist tendencies… when one is truly committed to becoming healed and whole and empowered.
If you have not already contacted me about participating, please do so soon so that there will be adequate seating.
In service…
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.
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