In private, and by those who have mentored me, I have been told, “Kimberly, even Jesus was not accepted in his time! Don’t expect to be accepted in this generation.” Additionally, I have been told that I am “just like Joseph!” In explanation, it was further divulged that Joseph introduced millennial concepts too soon and to a people not yet prepared to receive and live them.
Waking up to those thoughts this morning, I pondered:
*Would the world be better off if I did NOT offer what/ who I am?
*Should I just keep my deepest thoughts and awarenesses within me, to myself?
*Is it the best for all that I just grin and bear with the present societal drama?
*Should I not get involved, not offer my eyesight in attempts to right this present situation?
I reflected upon the unknown-to-most story of how “Jesus” was warned before he began his ministry, as he was in the pondering and learning stages of preparation, that if he were to proceed, that his teachings would end up being harmful to society, despite his great love and desires to bless and uplift.
Yet, where would current society be today without his offerings? Yes, all the “wars and rumors of wars,” the clans warring against clans for (supposed) supremacy and “favorite son” status… would they never have transpired?
How many rapes, pillagings, gossip-threads could all be directly or indirectly tied to the life of that one personality and the teachings attributed to him?
Quickly into my mind then came this determined conviction:
Wrong, ahead-of-my-time, or not. I CAN’T HOLD BACK WHO I AM. Like the rose its essence.
I recorded these musings in my journal, set down my pen, turned over and closed my eyes.
Then, dictated into my mind, came the following. Again, I picked up my pen… and wrote:
The Rose Knows
The rose knows that by unfurling her petals, discovering…
her inner beauty…
she risks defilement…
But, to fail to fully blossom,
she denies her self opportunity to experience…
Who She Truly IS
She must take that chance…
explore her inner essence…
expose her exquisite perfume…
making the most of each sun-drenched day…
drinking in each drop of dew…
the full measure of her creation.
Pondering upon the words that had just flowed through my mind and out through my fingertips, I considered the secret teachings revealed within the Gospel of Thomas.
This book opens with the lines, “These are the secret words which the living Jesus spoke, and the twin, Didymos Judas Thomas, wrote them down.”
“Judas,” the middle name (middle names shroud the hidden meaning for a person’s identity) is a Greek variant of the Hebrew name Yehudah meaning “praise, gratitude.” “Judas” is related to my middle name, “Judith,” which means “princess.” A “princess” KNOWS she is the daughter of a King, therefore, she praises and is grateful for that understanding and holy relationship. “Thomas” is Hebrew for “twin.” “Didymos” is Greek for “twin.” The implication here is that the writer/recorder of this book found near Nag Hammadi in 1945 is Jesus’ twin.
Now, for those who will only receive the dumbed-down, regurgitated versions of “the nativity” and the life, teachings and explanations of the one known as “Jesus,” what follows will appear blasphemous. Yet, I write nonetheless.
Jesus DID have “a twin brother.”
Jesus DOES have “a twin brother.”
Within the Gospel of Thomas is a list of the hidden, private, sayings of Jesus. Sayings known by his “twin,” the one who knows secret teachings which Jesus hasn’t given to all other people. Some of these sayings are familiar. “I have come to cast fire on the earth.” Or “Behold, a sower went out to sow,” and so forth….
My favorite of these is saying number 70. And it is this saying which impressed itself (for the umpteenth time) upon my mind, and yet again this morning, directly after writing “The Rose Knows” above.
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
This entire gospel can be conceived as an invitation for the recipient to use his eyes differently, to open them, connect them with new neural wiring, which utilizes a far-more-empowered and capable processor. The Gospel of Thomas encourages the reader to look… and see… afresh and what lay previously hidden.
As I write this, I ponder on my present situation. If I were required to go to school, as my daughter Krystal, or to a place of employment, as so many others are, or even into a “busyness” of my own choosing in order to find or establish my “name” in this world and acquire the finances to make my way in this world… IF those were my present situation, THEN I would not be entirely free to allow myself to be directed and used as a conduit to receive messages, transcribe them, and make them available… for You.
Instead, I have “bucked the system.”
As difficult as it has been for me to establish for myself this type of life… because I HAD TO (!), as precarious as it has been to maneuver through all the required variables, as “delusional” as I have at times appeared to those wont to judge my a-typical choices… That which is within me, That which HAD to be brought forth… IF I had NOT brought That forth, THEN That unrealized inner essence, the Real *ME,* would have destroyed me!
The Gospel of Thomas also suggests that Jesus is aware of, and criticizing the views of the Kingdom of God as a time or a place as “heaven” appears in the other gospels. Here Jesus says, “If those who lead you say to you, ‘look, the Kingdom is in the sky,’ then the birds will get there first. If they say ‘it’s in the ocean,’ then the fish will get there first. But the Kingdom of God is within you and outside of you. Once you come to know yourselves, you will become known. And you will know that it is you who are the children of the living father.”
In this gospel, the Kingdom of God is not an event that’s going to be catastrophically shattering the world as we know it and ushering in a new millennium. Here, as in Luke 17:20, the Kingdom of God is said to be an interior state; “It’s within you.” The Kingdom of God, according to this hidden gospel, is something that you can enter when you attain gnosis; knowledge.
Gnosis doesn’t mean intellectual knowledge.
The Greeks had two words for knowledge. One is intellectual knowledge, like the knowledge of physics, math, or language. Yet, it is NOT that “knowledge” that the Greeks meant when using “gnosis” or “the kingdom of heaven” or “the mysteries of god” that Jesus came to teach.
There are many who could… and do… fill your mind with knowledge of the history of the world… even “hidden” history. Gnosis is not at the typical level of knowing, such as your name, social class, or position. Those who seek and are satisfied with this level of knowledge never receive the intended hidden message. For the concept of gnosis is different; it is personal, it is self-knowledge: In-Sight. Gnosis, or this “Kingdom of God” within each of us, is knowing who you really are. Gnosis is knowing yourself at the deepest level; knowing that you are God, because you will have discovered that the divine is within you; IS YOU.
In the Gospel of Thomas, these “secret, hidden” teachings, have Jesus revealing that you and he are… twins. Identical. Equal. By reading with an opened and contrite heart and spirit, likening what you read to your innermost being, as intended, you discover (as you are meant to discover) that you and Jesus are… at a deep level… identical twins. Capable of trading places and “covering for” one another.
Within the two standard gospels of Matthew and Luke, when Jesus answers the questions of “Tell us, what do you want us to do? How shall we pray? What shall we eat? How shall we fast?” he responds, as a mother to her young child’s sincere questioning: “When you pray, say, ‘Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name…’ When you fast, wash your face, don’t make a show of it…. When you give alms, do it privately and without being showy.”
And yet, at the end of this “hidden gospel,” Jesus speaks to Thomas and says, “Whoever drinks from my mouth will become as I am, and I will become that person, and the mysteries will be revealed to him.” Here, Jesus does not take the role of mother, or authority, or teacher. Jesus does not give a direct answer. Instead, he says, “Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for everything is known before heaven.” In other words, Jesus is saying: KNOW YOUR SELF! LOOK INSIDE *YOU* now for your answers. Jesus is now saying, “Quit using me as a crutch! You are strong enough already! Look within for the answers that will save you! Become your own Savior!”
There are many today who can quote scripture after scripture, who pride themselves on their adherence to a mentor or master or “true messenger.” Yet knowing, they know not. Seeing they are blind. Hearing they are deaf. Clinging to, they fall. The “Way,” the ONLY Way to truly know the “mysteries of God” is to Understand the “mysteries of God.” And to understand requires experiencing and living and BECOMING the “mystery of God.”
Whether one clings to or despises Joseph Smith, Jesus Christ, Christopher Nemelka, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Einstein, Father Abraham… or anyone else… unless and until one recognizes her SELF, her divine, actual, eternal and unique Self… she is deaf, blind, and… a lie.
“But if you don’t know yourself, you live in poverty.” And poverty is understood as the ignorance of gnosis, living a counterfeit life, one imposed upon you from outside sources. In contrast, gnosis, or True Knowledge, is to have insight into one’s own ultimate divine identity. Again, when asked how to prayer, how to live, how to fast, Jesus responded: “Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for everything is known before heaven.” In other words: “Go withIN your Self for your own answers. I have taken you further than Moses was able to take the people at that time, I have lifted you from the level of JUSTICE to the height of COMPASSION. But, now you must take your self the rest of the way. Don’t use me as a crutch any longer. Become strong. Find the power within. Do not live as a lie or untrue to how the innermost essence would guide you. By listening… sincerely… continuously… and no matter the clamoring contrasting outside voices of parents, friends, teachers, experts… by listening and living according to the TRUTH within your self, you can discover gnosis: the mystery of Who YOU Are.”
This *Gnosis* is “the mysteries of godliness”… in full!
Everything that is experienced physically and through sense perception, everything in this world that you can perceive in this way… is nothing but a temporary illusion, a mirage that will “come to pass.” It is, at best, chaos and doesn’t even exist in reality. The only thing that really exists is your divine spirit or your divine soul, the essence within you that is identical in its quality with God himself. Your essence is an identical twin with Jesus. It is this truth, this inner essence deep within that we must each realize and bring forth… or destroy our self.
As Jesus begins in his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3): “Blessed are ye who are poor in spirit… who come unto me.” Physical existence is poverty. Living with primary regard to one’s physical senses, one’s temporal relationships, one’s reputation, one’s “appetites, desires, and passions”… of the flesh… is poverty.
But when you Know Your Self, Know the Eternal God that You Are, you are no longer in poverty. You are no longer imprisoned. You are wealthy! You are free! YOU are the essence awaiting the release from the petals of your human cloak! YOU are indescribably and exquisitely delicious and fragrant and healing and Holy.
With the treasury of the universe opened up with this true gnosis, one is wealthy indeed, and delivering the essence of one’s being upon the alter of life, as the rose knows, is worth whatever the consequences.
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.