What do *I* do?
Oh, I have had so many opportunities to practice just this! 🙂
I remind myself (with a few deep breaths and an escape to solidarity if possible) that:
The Universe is Conspiring FOR Me.
This moment is merely a move that Life is making IN MY BEHALF.
I realize that I don’t have to understand it. But, I DO *TRUST.*
As I Hold Myself within an Inner Column of Untouchable Peace, I take action as I calmly feel to… as dictated from within my own Being.
If no action has become clear to me, then I wait.
Slowly, but surely, moment by moment, action by action, the coast clears, the dust settles, and I survey the new scene. Okay, now what is presenting itself? Who or what are the operating variables now?
If possible, I write and review the former scenes so that I can (as wisely and objectively as possible) gain clues, hints, jewels from my past to dust off, analyze, come to understand as I walk with these jewels from my past, in my empowered now, creating the most glorious future possible. In order to empoweringly walk forward, I must look UP while I look BACK. The only way to move FORWARD is by being as brutally honest with myself as possible. Not in a self-deprecating way, not with I’ll screw the world arrogance, but with as much self-reflective humility and integrity as possible. By stepping up a few levels in overviewing my situation I can see pieces of the landscape that might have so far escaped my attention. I Look. I See. I Ponder. I Reflect some more.
I have come to real-eyes:
Life Wants so much more for me than I have ever known to dare to hope for myself.
But, this requires me to have explicit Trust in the unfolding, working WITH the process of unfolding even when I don’t understand it.
For instance: In 2002, I moved with my family to a new community. Calling to establish phone service for the new home, I was assigned the phone number: 574-5555. I felt intrigued with all the 5’s. Researching, I discovered that according to numerology, “555” represents: “fasten your seatbelts. Your life is about to change. Perhaps not in the ways that you believe you want but according to your deepest desires.”
And, change, it did!
I had an unprecedented experience where I was nearly strangled to death by an unseen force while my husband desperately looked on in helplessness. Guided from within, I took the steps that saved my life.
Two days later, I delivered an otherwise healthy baby who struggled to breathe (with the very same sounds and attempts to operate his lungs as I had experienced 36 hours before) that took me to the depths of experience within his eleven days of life before he died in my arms.
Exactly a year later my 20 year marriage came to an end.
My 8 living children, who had never had much of a father-figure in their lives, were suddenly convinced by him that I was to be feared and that I didn’t want nor deserve them. With the trauma ensuing, I was guided from within to do what, to that point of time was the most excruciatingly difficult thing yet: I surrendered to his demands and watched all my former life become zapped out of existence.
Gone was my reason for living… I thought.
So very much has continued to transpire within these last sixteen years, yet each variable has gotten me more inline and adjusted to be on the proper course for me and my ability to properly serve this world and find my ultimate JOY.
Life does that… if we allow it.
Destiny has a way of showing us Who We ARE, not the person we THOUGHT we were to become.
But, in order to accomplish this most important task, we must surrender our ego, our beliefs in who we are, every shred of our identity along with every semblance of stability and connection to the temporary temporal world.
IF one can do this… then a whole new world… with a more extensive and precious and holy Self-Identity… can be revealed.
And we are never alone or lonely again.
What if it Really SEEMS that we are destined to be alone forever?
Imagine the caterpillar.
Weaving a chrysalis around himself, he is as alone as alone can be. Yet, that aloneness gives him the greatest opportunity to bring forth from within himself a change, a transformation from a ground-hugging 2-dimensional being into a beautiful flying, 3-dimensional butterfly.
Use your time alone. Find “eternity” in your aloneness. Dig down deep as you come to really know your Self; the one that has been hidden under the false charades, costumes, temporal relationships. Find *YOU*! And in that finding, you need never be alone again, even if you are (seemingly) solitary.
When we have found our SELF, we have found our connection to All That Is.
And that is worth every supposed crumb that we have been compelled to surrender in order to get there.
With deep compassion I submit this answer, in hopes that each reader can take strength from my experience, my awareness. Whatever your personal experience, You can survive… and find Your TRUEST Self… eventually… awaiting on the “other side.”
In my pursuit of Real Truth, I have given up everything. Crawling through the “eye of the needle,” I have learned the *mysteries* and am now giving my life to assist YOU to dis-cover Who *YOU* really are, along with your unique gift to offer humanity. As you learn to seek (in the right place and with purified intent), you WILL find treasures of lasting value, along with every promised reward. Together, we will establish a society of humane beings and live life ALIVE, on PURPOSE, and with a sociality unequaled… because we will each BE and view each other as equally and profoundly DIVINE! Please… catch this Hope and Vision and join with me.